When nominating an emergency contact, a partner or family member might seem an obvious choice.
But for many, there isn't someone that immediately comes to mind.
"There are a lot of circumstances that can put someone in a position where they don't feel they have a close connection to anyone," says Luke Martin, a clinical psychologist at Beyond Blue.
"You might have moved away from family, old networks and friends, [or] maybe had a conflict in the family and are estranged."
It's also a task that can make people feel uncomfortable and even distressed, Dr Martin says.
"It can be a confronting moment," he adds.
"It can come with feelings of shame and embarrassment and really magnify existing feelings of loneliness."
The experts we spoke to say not having an obvious emergency contact is a common scenario, and thankfully, there are usually alternatives that just require a little bit of brainstorming.
A loneliness epidemic
Whether it's at the doctor's office, your child's school or starting a new job, there are many scenarios in which we are asked who to contact in an emergency.
It's a routine question that can carry weight for some, says Tim Senior, a GP working in Indigenous health and a medical adviser to the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners (RACGP).
Dr Senior says many people in Australia have family overseas or interstate as well as life experiences that have isolated them.
"There are plenty of people who have (a) disability or mental health problems or other issues … where they just feel quite isolated and not part of the community that they're in."
Dr Martin says the loneliness epidemic means more people find themselves in this situation.
One in three Australians say they often feel lonely and one in four say they are persistently lonely, he says.
"In the past 50 years, there have been so many social forces that have put us in a position where more people are living by themselves," he says, adding that WFH, longer work hours and fewer places "in the community where we gather" are exacerbating factors.
Dr Senior says there may also be people who are in relationships with people they don't trust, such as when domestic and family violence is present.
"They might be under pressure to put a partner down [as a contact], but that they're uncertain about what would happen if they were contacted."
Criteria for an emergency contact
There are many contexts in which we can nominate an emergency contact, some more serious than others.
Dr Senior says you need to consider what responsibility that contact will have and what information they may have access to.
If you aren't sure, you can ask the organisation or person asking you to complete the form.
If the nominated contact needs to make medical or financial decisions on your behalf, they should be someone you trust who knows your values, explains Dr Senior.
In those instances, proximity and availability might not be relevant. However, to collect a sick child from school for example, it will be.
An emergency contact should be easily reachable and aware they are your nominated person.
'Thinking outside the box'
Trevor Omara, from Queensland, is a volunteer with Telecross, a telephone check-in service from the Australian Red Cross.
Each day, people registered with the program receive a phone call from volunteers like Trevor.
"It's also a chance for genuine human connection while checking in on their emotional and physical wellbeing," he says.
Trevor says there are many clients who fit the demographic of people who don't have an obvious choice for an emergency contact, and recommends people "think outside the box".
"[It could be] someone from a local cafe or places that they attend regularly," he says.
Dr Senior says a first step can be to look around you. For example, is there a neighbour that might be willing to help? Other parents at your child's school? A colleague you get along with?
"Consider social and community clubs — maybe someone from a sports club, or if you attend religious services through churches or mosques or temples — asking someone there."
It can be useful to challenge the assumption that you have no-one to list as an emergency contact, suggests Dr Martin.
Support workers and health professionals are also options to consider.
"Being vulnerable" with the person asking you to complete the form can help brainstorm ideas, Dr Martin says.
"Let them know about your situation and ask for their ideas and workarounds. You're not the only person who would have asked them that."
Making the request
While it can feel like a burdensome request, Dr Senior says "people are often only too happy to help".
"Often people feel really honoured and flattered to be asked."
And making the request can be a chance to deepen that relationship.
"It's not a neutral question. It can be an opportunity to develop new friendships or social circles.
"It's a question that promotes going out for a cup of coffee together."
