A small person who lives in my house (not naming names) has recently discovered a passion for open-toed footwear, aka thongs.
Timed with the arrival of winter, I've been worried about those cute little toes withstanding the cold.
I know I'm not alone in having a child who refuses to wear appropriate clothing — particularly jumpers, socks and headwear — when the temperature drops.
But how important is it really that our kids rug up?
A sense of independence
Toddlers and young children like to feel a sense of independence, says Sara Quinn, clinical psychologist and president of the Australian Psychological Society.
And choosing their own clothing is one way to have control over decision-making.
"It's a nice thing for them to feel and have," Dr Quinn says.
"And choosing clothing in a sense is a powerful form of self-expression."
Between the ages of two and five, she says our children's ability to understand emotions and communicate their needs is well behind "their interest in exploring the world" and developing a sense of self and independence.
While it can be frustrating for parents and caregivers at times, Dr Quinn says an innate urge to explore independence is healthy.
"Letting go of control in that area may feel like inherent loss of influence as a child grows more independent.
"But allowing them to choose their own clothes can build confidence, encourage self-expression and teach them nice decision-making skills."
Not a health risk
Harriet Hiscock, a paediatrician at the Murdoch Children's Research Institute, says some children don't feel the cold as much as others.
"We don't have any great scientific data on this, but certainly anecdotally, some kids seem to feel the cold less — probably because they are more physically active than we are."
She says parents worried about their children being cold should know it is generally not a health risk.
"There's no known health risk. Being cold doesn't mean you get a cold," she says for example.
In more extreme temperatures, she says chilblains (patches of red, swollen and itchy skin, thought to be caused by a combination of cold weather and poor circulation) may be a concern.
Or where there are other factors at play, such as a cold house that is damp and mouldy, potentially causing respiratory conditions.
"But that's not from temperature alone," Professor Hiscock says.
Natural consequences
Where safety is a concern, Dr Quinn says parents should give their child parental guidance around decision-making.
"And we know that even very young children can quickly learn the language of safety."
If a caregiver asks the child: "Is that a safe decision?", and they calmly talk about the potential consequences, Dr Quinn says they can learn from that.
But generally, she says choosing clothing is a "low-stakes" opportunity to help children learn from the outcomes.
"We call them natural consequences. Letting them experience that for lower-stake decisions can help them build a sense of responsibility and capacity to make good decisions."
She says if a child refuses to wear a jumper, for example, and then is cold during an outing, it's important parents don't use that to blame or punish.
"If the tone is 'I told you so', the child will experience a sense of shame, and that increases chances of defiance.
"Remain calm and matter of fact, and even compassionate about those consequences."
For example, you could say "You felt cold today, that must have been really hard, guess you're wishing you wore your jacket. Maybe you will tomorrow? Meanwhile, let's get home and get you warmed up".
Sensory overload or discomfort
In some cases, children may experience sensory overload in regard to clothing, which can be a normal experience, but also a form of neurological difference in sensory processing, says Dr Quinn.
"The same touch can be barely imperceptible to one child, a good amount of pressure for another, and unbearably uncomfortable for another."
Professor Hiscock says that's more likely to happen with winter clothing that can feel tight and heavy.
"It's about working with your child to work out what feels comfortable.
"Maybe wearing a long cotton sleeve T-shirt underneath a jumper that feels scratchy — those logical things can help."
If refusing to wear appropriate clothing is part of a broader, more intense pattern of defiance, in extreme cases it may be oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), says Dr Quinn.
ODD is a frequent and ongoing pattern of anger, irritability, arguing and defiance toward parents and other authority figures.
"In those cases, it's really important to seek the support of a psychologist," Dr Quinn says.
