Fatherhood has helped Dane Simpson chill out about a lot of things — including how clean his clothes are.
The 42-year-old comedian from Wagga Wagga/Wiradjuri Country welcomed his son Ari last year, and says "a bit of vomit" on his T-shirt is no biggy.
"I used to find a lot of things gross. Before becoming a dad I would absolutely change my shirt if I spilt some sauce on myself from lunch; I would go home and change."
He's also found being a dad really fun, the opposite to what his peers warned him about.
"When you talk to other parents, they jokingly give you all the negative stuff — 'kids will cost a lot', or 'good luck sleeping'.
"But once Ari came, it was fine. I have a really good time. He's such a cool little dude."
And most of all, parenting has unlocked a new range of emotions.
"Before we had Ari I thought I had felt every emotion there was. I'd lived life. I've done everything possible," Dane says.
"Then he comes along and it's like I've entered a new dimension."
For Father's Day, we spoke with Dane and five other dads about how having kids changed them.
And we would like to acknowledge readers who might find Father's Day a difficult time, for whatever reason.
'Challenging but rewarding'
Matt Barnes, 37, Sydney/Gadigal Country. Dad to three-year-old Ella and six-week-old Chari.
For myself, it's just been one of the most challenging things you can do, but at the same time the most rewarding.
And ultimately the most transformative. It has evolved me in ways I didn't expect.
I am much more selfless. And patient, especially when they start to have tantrums or you can't get them to sleep.
And time management. I've never been the best with time, and occasionally I'm still not the best, but I just fit so much more into my day now.
Even stuff for my own good like exercise, without compromising on being a present dad as well.
I stopped drinking almost two years ago.
There were times I would go out and I wasn't with my family, and the next day I was just a P.O.S. basically.
I couldn't be the dad I wanted to be.
So I gave that away.
'Changed me for the better'
Jonathan Ong, 39, Melbourne/Naarm, dad to two kids aged eight and five.
As the primary carer of my two children, I think parenthood has really changed me for the better.
I'm definitely more intentional in what I do and why, because part of being a parent is setting a good example.
I've always thought of myself as a patient person, but parenthood has definitely tested the boundaries of that, especially after a few sleepless nights.
My children have surprised me in such wonderful ways I could have never imagined, and in those moments my heart has never been more filled with pride and love.
The best advice I've held onto is: Don't make it perfect, make it wonderful.
That's how I try to approach parenting, and it's also what I try to capture with my camera — the real, messy, beautiful parts of life.
'I'm more confident'
Ado Ninnes, 42, Brisbane/Meanjin. Dad to 13-year-old Nixon and nine-year-old Zara.
Before kids, I often held myself back out of fear or shyness.
But becoming a parent forced me to push past that because I never wanted my kids to inherit my hesitations.
In stepping up for them, I became more confident in myself.
Day-to-day, they've made me more intentional. I try — imperfectly, but consistently — to practice gratitude for at least one thing each day. Parenting reminds me that time is a finite resource, and I want to spend mine on what matters most: my wife, my kids, and our health.
If you asked my children, I'd hope they'd say I've grown into someone more patient, a better listener, and someone who's not afraid to own mistakes.
I don't always get it right, but I'm quick to acknowledge it and commit to being better.
The moments that sum this up aren't grand milestones, but simple ones like my kids holding my hand for safety, cuddling close, or covering me in face paint while I smile ear to ear.
They've taught me that life is about presence, not perfection.
And that lesson has changed how I show up everywhere.
'Motivation to put the effort in'
Nick Kilvert, 43, Brisbane/Meanjin. Dad to eight-year-old Vivian and six-year-old Ned.
If fatherhood's changed me, I think it's actually made me focus more on myself.
I think you realise fairly early on that most of what kids learn from you isn't the stuff you tell them.
They pick up on everything — the way you treat them, the way you treat others, the way you treat yourself, body language, tone of voice — everything.
So you can't phone it in, unfortunately. Once I got that, it was like, 'Oh, then I need to sort my own shit out or they're going to be taking that on too'.
I don't think we can completely avoid passing some of our hang-ups onto our kids. That's life.
And I'm definitely not nailing it anywhere near all the time.
But the better I am within myself, the better environment it makes for them to be in.
So yeah, I think they've given me the motivation to put the effort in.
At the very least, hopefully I can save them a few bucks on therapy down the track.
'A whole new world'
Billy Davey, 34, Vincentia NSW. Dad to four-year-old Penny.
You think you know love before you have a kid, and it's like 'whoa', it's a whole new world.
It's a whole different type of love.
As soon as she came along … everything else goes out the window.
I definitely have become more patient, not just towards our daughter, but my partner as well.
You just learn to bring yourself back down to Earth and ground yourself. And take a breath.
And just the happiness kids bring. You can have a shit day at work, and you walk into the house, and you have a human that looks a little bit like you, and a little bit like your partner, and they are so excited to see you.
They have no idea of what else goes on in the real world, and you forget that too a bit when you see them.
